Rub Your Wings together for 100% Cricket Powder!
- Cricketerra cricket powder is 100% pure crickets unlike others you'll see that are mixed with baking flour or flavoring (why pay to ship that?).
- Each bag contains 3.5oz at 70% protein - that's almost 1/4 pound. It takes approximately 1,100 crickets to make this bag of 100% pure cricket powder.
- Cricket contains twice as much protein as beef, as much calcium as milk, as much Vitamin B12 as salmon, and 17 amino acids, including Lysine.
My almost-tenured career as a Professor in Entomology at Well Regarded University ended a few years ago, shortly after Carter, my nosey grad student helper, walked in on me gobbling up some of the Acheta Crickets straight out of the tank in the Science Hall.
All the years of grant writing and begging for money to prove that insect protein was a viable nutritious source of protein for school lunches was now for nothing! Fired for freaking out the college kids who eat fast food! I still think Carter was a plant from Taco Bell or similar.
Now, I’m an unemployable professor turned insurance agent with an appetite for extra small sources of protein. If only the Paleos would embrace bug eating!
But I am free now to eat what I want. Spring and Summer are my time for Raw Escargot. But in winter, I love to cook with Cricket Flour! YUMMY! It's so delicious and nutritious! (The added protein is only one benefit of using cricket flour in my recipes; a ton of iron, calcium and vitamins are also included.)
I discovered how much I love the taste of crickets in second grade. I didn’t have any kid friends at school, because I had to wear a garland of garlic. (My mother had an irrational fear of vampires and geysers, neither of which existed in our suburban enclave.) Because of this garlic, I would spend recess talking to the insects on the playground. Of course, a bully decided to make me eat one of my crawling friends, and that’s when I knew how tasty these little fellas are! I freaked him out grabbing more and more of them to eat!
I’ve tried a wide variety of six and even eight legged creatures but crickets, especially A Cheta Domesticus, remain my favorite.
In order to curb my bug cravings at work, I snack on my yummy chocolate chip cricket flour cookies to hold me over until I get home and can feast from my selection of live six legged delicacies. Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.
One day at the insurance company I was sitting in my cubicle, entering claims in the database, while listening to some Bach on my headphones. I was snacking on my delicious secret when Judith stopped over to go on and on about how her girlfriend doesn't like her watching Ellen while they copulate, and I guess the annoyed look on my face didn’t register because she kept babbling and helped herself to one of my cookies without even asking. Long story short, she told me how great they tasted and asked me what my secret ingredient was… I told her that I don't share my grandmother's recipe. Chirp Chirp Chirp.
Judith loved them so much that she begged me to make her a dozen by tomorrow and even agreed to pay for them! So, of course I did. Pretty soon everyone at the insurance agency had tried my cookies and they became a huge hit.
I started making other delicious cricket flour recipes such as cricket cake, scones and apple cricket turnovers. I can barely keep up with supply and demand these days. The crickets in this hundred percent pure flour are milled up so well that no one can tell what they are eating.
I guess I don't need to write a grant after all, because now my experiments are being done on my fellow insurance employees, and they don’t even know it! An added bonus, we are on a wellness program with our insurance plan, so I can get a variety of updates on weight, blood pressure, etc. It seems to be working as I thought it would! Chirp Chirp Chirp.
Anything that makes me this popular at work, and furthers my research so that one day Chicken Nuggets become Cricket Nuggets, and Hamburgers become Cricket Burgers, and Pizza with Anchovies becomes Pizza with Crickets deserves all the Bezos I can give, so using the rating system that has the same relative strength as a Hercule Beetle, I give this product 5 Bezos out of 5!