Alligator Jerky - Dried Reptile Makes Us Smile
Let's be clear on what the educated gourmet wants when buying Alligator Jerky...
And that is 100% Alligator. Not any of this b.s. beef filler! Can you believe that some low-rent Jerkiers (the term for one who makes Jerky) are willing to mix a standard beef product into their Alligator Jerky! Heaven forbid your Alligator Jerky has any resemblance to a Slim Jim.
And of course, you want your AJ made in the USA, which as the internet knows, has the largest collection of Lizard People running a government on Earth right now.
You buy your Reptile Snacks from the nation that looks to Lizards as Leaders!
You, the educated gourmet, can rest assured that with this brand of Alligator Jerky sold on Amazon, you are getting 100% pure Alligator! No Cow, no Bison and definitely no Crocodile!
- Genuine 100% Alligator (NO BEEF ADDED)
- Made in USA
While we at AmazonPrimeRib.com like our Alligator Jerky plain, without seasoning, like how Grandma used to dry it -- though on occasion, she would serve it with a chutney dipping sauce for her Bible Study Group -- you, casual diner, may not be ready for the pure taste of alligator.
That's why we think this Teriyaki-Cajun mix could be a winner for you.
Separately from you buying this Jerky, you know who else is a winner?
At least those looking for a little romp on the shores of the swamp.
Scientists have recently discovered that Gentlemen Alligators are always erect in their penile attitude. Constantly at attention. The alligator penis is hidden inside the body, so it doesn't get in the way during their rugby matches, but when he pops out, it is ready to go.
As that's the case, we guess the only issue after an alligator movie and dinner is how ready the Lady Alligator is for her Dapper Dan. Maybe it doesn't matter, because when we ponder alligator foreplay, would she want his toothy chompers down there? Maybe the Gator doesn't need any aid.
The sweet reviewers at Amazon Prime Rib, when pondering post-apocalyptic cuisine, envision the consumption of alligators will be as regular as that of chicken. As alligators will be one of the few species, like cockroaches, left for us to farm. So using our impressively virile Bezos scale, this item gets 5 Bezos out of 5, so you can start getting used to the taste of Alligator now!