Don't Buy This Stuff

Look, as our grandparents, the ones who were either hippies or racist jingoists told us, "It's a free country!" (Which really is some ancient old-school libertarian bullshit, because this shit ain't free!) We all know it costs way too much for health care, rent, college, healthy food, or a ticket to see a decent concert. Not to mention the effects of racism and class on getting equal justice or even basic protections within our legal and judicial system. And let's not go all the way back to slavery, the Civil War, the Revolutionary War, the genocide of those humans already here. Damn, the is not a free country at all! What were our grandpappys and grandmommas smoking?

But Back to the Bezos Basics: If you want to buy the items that are in our Don't Buy This Stuff section, we are not going to stop you. It's a free country, right?! This is the section where we put things that are pretty garish or rude or extreme. But you might need them for a cocktail party or a fundraiser, so go ahead and shop. But you could spend your hard-earned simoleons, your greenbacks, your paper cucumbers with the old guys' faces on them, on other things we've reviewed at Amazon Prime Rib too. Or just venmo us - cause hell, we're hacking this path through the jungle for you.
5 Reviews