A Family is Saved - Thanks to 144 Temporary Emoji Tattoos
These emoji tattoos made my family whole again.
Without it, I might have divorced my new husband Greg, or my stepson Gavin might have gotten into vaping or rap music with vapid rhymes.
Ever since Gavin's father and I got married, it’s been hard to get through to Gavin. It's like I went from his Dad's hot girlfriend who works out and spray tans to a Vice Principal or Mother Superior.
“What do you want for supper?” – “Don’t care.”
“Did you have a good day at school?” - “No.”
"Is that cute Liza your friend, or your girlfriend?- Neither!"
These blurts of conversations had gone on for so long, I felt like I’d been talking to a wall! And not the kind of wall with art or inspirational quotes, just a blank, stinky wall. And Greg doesn't help. Sure, he's in great shape, makes a lot of money, and buys me nice things, but the only time he opens up and gets emotional is after I spank him at night.
So I had to take the initiative and find a way to communicate with Gavin! I’m not really sure where Gavin got these Emoji Tattoos to begin with, he won't say, just like he doesn’t know where the empty package of cigarettes under his bed came from, or why some of those nasty sites are on his web browser memory.
But one day he started wearing one or two of these emojis on his hand. I wondered if it was a new trend or something. Of course, when I asked him, he said he didn’t know and went up to his room to play more of that ForkKnife game or study chemistry or text Liza.
I tried to let it go, but the kid just kept wearing them, so I went to Google for some answers. After hours of scanning Urban Dictionary and then Twitter, all I learned was 40 new ways to describe sexual acts that sound gross, and that most comedians dislike the President. I eventually found a link to buy these tattoos, so I figured I’d go for it.
I figured if Gavin was only going to be as communicative as Koko the Gorilla, I would be a zoologist and talk to him using symbols. At first I made it easy, a red heart on my own hand, then a flower or a panda. Gavin didn’t seem to react until I put an eggplant emoji on my wrist. (I was making eggplant pasta that night.) He wouldn’t stop staring at it, and muttering "LOL." But later. after dinner, I noticed he put on the eggplant emoji too! He was complimenting my cooking!
Since then, I’ve been able to communicate with him more easily. It was a slow process at first. I had to pick up on the differences between certain emojis, such as how the red angry emoji face is much more serious than the yellow angry emoji face, or how the basic laughing crying emoji is different from the cat laughing crying emoji.
Sometimes he would put on random emojis just to throw me off, and I had to realize that just because he has the fries emoji on his hand it doesn’t mean he wants fries or anything. Or the horse's head? Hmmm. It was also hard to begin responding to him with my own emojis, and when he would get frustrated he would storm off to his room and put on a bunch of the skull emojis. That’s when I knew he needed a break.
But now, after a month or two, it’s like Gavin and I have our own little system, and we barely even have to talk! Don’t get me wrong, there are still days I struggle to understand what he means when he puts the crying face with two streams of tears over the one with worried eyebrows and a single tear. But my relationship with Gavin has never been better! Sometimes I think I have better communication with him than his father!
I will admit it was a bit tricky to get used to this new form of communication, especially when Greg caught on. He’s always been a tad old-fashioned and, once he discovered the tattoos, he wasn’t going to let it slide.
“What happened to a good serious conversation on a car ride and maybe a beer?” he said.
I, of course, had to remind him that his son was not old enough to drink! And that Gavin gets carsick quite easily! We got in a little tiff about it, but once he realized I had gotten through to Gavin, he let off. (And he apologized sincerely that night, after a lot of paddling.) Now even Greg sometimes uses a couple of the sports-themed emojis when he is going to be watching some game on the TV, and Gavin and I know to stay away from him then. He is a real "eggplant" when he watches his sports. Lol.
I’m giving this product -which has 144 Temporary Emojis in it -5 out of 5 Bezos for saving this new family of mine. (And letting me relax, knowing that according to Liza's emojis, she is not going all the way with Gavin.)