World's Ugliest Animal is facing extinction, but now you can make him your very own.
12" tall. 9" long
This nearly extinct sack of goop has been ALL the rage amongst children, teens, and blobophiles, since being voted “World’s Ugliest Animal” in 2013, knocking Rosanne Barr out of that spot until she reclaimed it in mid-2018.
How ugly is the Blobfish? They say, “Ugliness is in the eye of the ugliest person in the room. THEY SO UGLY!” Who knows what that means, but the Blobfish beat out the Proboscis Monkey, Pubic Lice and the Aquatic Scrotum Frog for the title of World’s Ugliest Animal.
I mean look at that face. So ugly, it's cute. This Stuffed Blobfish looks like it’s about to sell you hemorrhoid cream in a morose, monotone voice. And you will buy it, even if you don't have an itchy sphincter. Because...what’s NOT to love about him?
He must be rich or really funny. I mean how else if he getting to date that gorgeous young woman he's chilling on the couch with? And what are they watching on Netflix? The Blob? A Fish Called Wanda?
Everyone at Amazon Prime Rib is smitten with Blobby McBlobfish too. He reminds us of our Grandpa, if Grandpa was skinned alive, and still complaining about his hamburger being overcooked.
Fun fact: IRL the Blobfish doesn’t have a swim bladder. Who needs a swim bladder?! Not a Blobfish, that's for sure. Doesn’t do much good to have a swim bladder at the bottom of the ocean, just to be crushed under the pressure of all of that water. (Seriously, if you’re looking for a "crushed bladder" there’s the dark-web for that kinda stuff.)
We think this fellow is amusing and necessary, like all those Water Aerobics classes at your local gym, filled with lots of Grandma Blobfishes, bobbing up and down to the beats of songs from their yesteryear.
While Amazon Prime Rib can never attain the perfect combination of cute and ugly that this Blobfish does, we are known for having the perfect rating system, our very own Bezos Scale.
While 0 Bezos faces is worst, and 5 Bezos faces is best, we give this Plush Blobfish a 3 Bezos. That is the sweet spot where Jeff is still cute and not ugly